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I'M LESS PEANUT - SHAPED IN REAL LIFE / Q&A / ASK BOX
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Don't hate the box, hate the blocks.
My grandfather’s book has been published. It’s called The Lost Lamb, and it’s awesome. (Seriously, you can search it on Amazon if you don’t believe me.)
Anyway, I was reading the blurb about my grandfather on the back of the book and I didn’t like it all. They left out all of the cool parts. So I just wrote a new one and taped it to all of the copies at my grandfather’s house.
You’re fucking welcome.
I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. See, I logged onto facebook earlier and I was surprised by who my new friend request was from.
Somebody made the mistake of showing my grandfather how a computer works. I’m definitely reluctant to accept my grandfather’s friend request. I’m not mad at him or anything, I just remember how difficult my life was when I was facebook friends with my aunt Jo - Anne. A week after I had accepted my aunt’s friend request, she came to stay with us for a few days. I hadn’t yet realized that with my family able to see my facebook posts I should probably be a little more careful about what I say, especially considering how my mom is the only person in my family that knows that I’m gay.
One day, I was walking to my room when my aunt stopped me.
She asked if I had a minute to talk, and I told her that I did.
But then, right before she opened her mouth to talk again, it hit me.
We were facebook friends, and she was probably going to talk to me about something she saw that concerned her, and that something could involve my sexual orientation.
It was vital that I kept my cool, though. I couldn’t give away any information that she didn’t already know. Besides, maybe I was jumping the gun. Maybe my aunt has better things to do than snoop around on her nephew’s facebook and investigate his personal life.
My very relieved self explained to my aunt that no, I wasn’t going to college, and that it wasn’t any of her business in the first place so she could go suck a dildo. Luckily, she later got in a fight with my mom and deleted me as a facebook friend so that I couldn’t see the shit - talking she was doing. Now I’m back to square one, though. I can’t accept my grandfather as a friend because he is a crazy republican and I don’t want him to see anything that I post, but I can’t not accept him because he will take offense.
…Somebody help me fake my own death?